
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/8039155.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      F/M, M/M
  Fandom:
      Haikyuu!!
  Relationship:
      Iwaizumi_Hajime/Oikawa_Tooru, Oikawa_Tooru/Ushijima_Wakatoshi, Kuroo
      Tetsurou/Oikawa_Tooru, Akaashi_Keiji/Oikawa_Tooru, Akaashi_Keiji/Bokuto
      Koutarou, Akaashi_Keiji/Iwaizumi_Hajime
  Character:
      Iwaizumi_Hajime, Oikawa_Tooru, Oikawa_Tooru's_Sister, Akaashi_Keiji,
      Bokuto_Koutarou, Kuroo_Tetsurou, Kageyama_Tobio, Ushijima_Wakatoshi,
      Sugawara_Koushi, Sawamura_Daichi, Hinata_Shouyou, Nishinoya_Yuu, Azumane
      Asahi
  Additional Tags:
      Rape/Non-con_Elements, Obsessive-Compulsive_Disorder, Angst, Slow_Build,
      First_Meetings, First_Time
  Stats:
      Published: 2016-09-14 Updated: 2016-11-28 Chapters: 7/? Words: 9110
****** But We all Have Problems ******
by Mickey14
Summary
     When Oikawa decides to go to Shiratorizama, he begins to push himself
     to being the best setter in the country. He's always training and
     always looking to get better. Sure, he might be a little intense, but
     National team recruiters even came to scout him the other week. He
     has to get better. Nothing else matters. Not school. Not his friends.
     Not his girlfriend. Not his family. Nothing can compete with
     volleyball.
Notes
     Welcome to Oikawa's AU in which he goes to Shiratorizawa and he did
     not have Iwaizumi to hold him back from himself.
     Leave comments and suggestions. Let me know if you like this story!
***** Volleyball is Most Important *****
Oikawa banged the ball against the ground several times before he held it up,
prepared to serve. Right at the water bottle. There is no time for mistakes.
There's only 63 more days until Nationals and Oikawa is nowhere near prepared.
He'll need several hours a day to train to actually get anywhere. It doesn't
matter that everyone tells him that he's amazing. He knows they're lying. It
doesn't matter because the recruiter for the national team came and he played
the worst game of his life. It was over a week ago. There was no call or email
or anything. The recruiter wasn't impressed enough to contact him. Oikawa had
seen the recruiter talking to Ushijima. Oikawa just wasn't good enough.
Oikawa threw the ball up into the air and took a few steps before powerfully
slamming the ball. It sailed over the net at a terrifying pace and directly
toward the water bottle. Oikawa waited for the familiar noise of the water
bottle being hit, but it never came. Because the ball hit mere inches away from
it.
Oikawa felt his heart beat quickly and his head began to hurt right behind his
forehead. He turned and slammed his head against the wall. He felt the same
pain and slammed it a second time. The pressure in his head alleviated, but
just for good measure, he was about to slam it again when he heard a voice call
his name.
"Oikawa," Ushijima called across the gym. "What are you doing here?"
The tall and intimidating man stared intently at Oikawa and Oikawa was unable
to return his look. Oikawa's hairs on his neck pricked up at Ushijima's
presence, but Oikawa ignored it.
"How long have you been here?" Oikawa questioned. "I could really use you to
practice my tosses. It'd be really nice if you could help-"
"I've been here for half an hour and you didn't even notice," Ushijima showed
no concern, but it was as if he was just talking about the weather.
"Sorry, I was just focused," Oikawa picked up a ball from the basket and began
to twirl it in his hands, already turning his attention away from Ushijima who
didn't seem to actually want to practice with him.
"Focused enough that you forgot about our date?" Akita demanded.
Akita and Oikawa had been dating for the past six months, maybe. Oikawa didn't
really remember. She was a petite thing who always had an attitude to Oikawa,
but everyone loved her, especially his family. His parents sometimes have her
over for dinner when Oikawa isn't even over. It's annoying sometimes after
coming home from volleyball and having to spend time with her when Oikawa could
be doing something productive like watching tapes of other teams. Now that
Oikawa was thinking about it, why was he dating Akita? She was just a
distraction to what really mattered: volleyball.
"Yeah, seems that way," Oikawa muttered as he served the ball and hit the water
bottle straight on.
Oikawa picked up another ball and got ready for another serve, but right as he
was about to throw it up in the air, the ball was stolen from him.
Akita held the ball away from him and yelled, "What's wrong with you? Don't you
even care? We've been dating for 9 months and you just keep pulling away from
me over and over again."
Oikawa walked away from her and to the other side of the gym to set up the
fifteen water bottles that he had knocked over with sixteen balls. It was
almost perfect. Almost.
Akita followed him across the court and continuously yelled at him, but Oikawa
never really heard her. He returned to his place where he was serving and took
another ball from the cart filled with them. He took his position and threw the
ball into the air and jump-served. He aimed for the one in the deepest part of
the court and it sailed on target until, again, Oikawa missed.
The pressure built in his head and he did what was necessary to relieve it. He
walked up to the wall and slammed his head against the wall. Oikawa thought he
heard Akita finally stop talking.
He turned around to face her and offer her a snarky comment, but her utter
horror stopped him. Oikawa reluctantly didn't comment and picked up another
ball. He threw it into the air, but he felt an arm pull him back as he was
about to step forward. Oikawa whipped around to look Akita in the eyes and tell
her off and to leave her alone. She didn't let him.
Oikawa heard the ball that he was going to serve hit the ground as Akita moved
her hand to his head. She drew it back and examined the glistening red liquid
in her hand. She looked back at him in utter awe.
"You're bleeding," Akita said as if she didn't believe it.
Oikawa was unphased. It wasn't the first time and it wouldn't be the last. He
just needed to practice right now. He'd clean the blood up later.
Oikawa tried to pull away, but Akita held her grip. Ushijima who Oikawa had
completely forgotten about spoke up at that point.
"I think it's time you headed home, Oikawa."
"I didn't finish practicing," Oikawa retorted as he took a step away from
Akita. "Just give me another half an hour."
"No, get out," Ushijima ordered. "I'm locking up for the night."
Oikawa opened his mouth to argue, but he knew that it would mean nothing, so he
stomped over to his bag rather childishly and slammed the door on his way out.
Oikawa started on his way home when he heard the crunch of gravel on the
ground. He stopped just a moment, hoping that it just might Ushijima coming
back to say he was joking and that Oikawa could continue practicing, but Oikawa
knew that would never happen. It was Ushijima, afterall.
"Oikawa," her tiny and annoying voice screeched and she took a deep breath
before continuing. "Oikawa, I need to talk to you. I don't think we can do
this. You're just so obsessed with volleyball and you don't even care. I just-.
No, that's only part of it. Oikawa, I'm scared of you. After seeing whatever
happened back there, I think you need to see someone. Just for a little while
until you get better. You're just so obsessed with something that won't matter
a year from now. I just don't understand-"
"You wouldn't understand," Oikawa shot. "You'll never understand what it's like
to always struggle to keep up. I don't have the talent to keep up with other
people, so I have to train myself to be better than them. And I won't stop
training until I am better. And right now, I am nowhere close to their level-"
"You're amazing, Oikawa!" Akita said, taking his hands and trying to convince
him. "You always have been. A national recruiter talked to Ushijima about how
they would really want you to come to a training camp with their current team!
How is there any better than that?"
Oikawa had not known that fact. Ushijima had kept it from him, obviously.
Ushijima was probably afraid Oikawa wouldn't be able to keep up with the
national players and that Oikawa would make a fool of himself, but Oikawa
wouldn't. He just had to keep training. He had to get better if he wanted to
compete with them. To play with national players. An opportunity of a lifetime.
But Oikawa wasn't ready. He needed to train to be better. He was still not good
enough for that level.
"Oikawa, focus on me," Akita said, softly. "I'm going to come over tomorrow
morning to talk to your parents about what I just saw-"
"You're not my mother, Akita," Oikawa snapped. "I don't need you."
Oikawa ripped his hands from hers and stalked off into the night.
***** Oikawa's Breakdown *****
Chapter Summary
     Oikawa talks to his sister and insists he leaves for volleyball.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Oikawa got home around 9:15 that night. His sister, Mei, was home from college
for a few days, but she would be leaving soon. Oikawa realized he hadn't really
talked, but he really wasn't in the mood. Maybe, he'd skip school and play
volleyball with her tomorrow. Mei was always really helpful when Oikawa
practiced with her. Maybe, he'd ask her tomorrow if he felt like it.
Oikawa tiptoed past her chair where she sat watching an old movie from the
80's. Hoping she wouldn't notice him, Oikawa made it to the stairs before Mei
noticed him.
"Hey," Mei called. "Get back here. I want to talk to you."
Reluctantly, Oikawa obliged and stood in the doorway to the living room. The
room was dark and the light from the television barely illuminated Mei's face,
but from Oikawa's distance, his blood-stained face was still hidden.
"Akita called," Mei prompted, but when Oikawa did not reply, she continued.
"She said she wanted to make sure you got home okay. She said you two broke up,
Tooru. A few months ago, you were telling me that you were in love with her and
you even might've wanted to marry her. I just don't understand."
"No one seems to understand," Oikawa yelled, causing Mei to straighten up. "I'm
18 years old. What would I know about love? Besides, she's a bitch, anyways."
"Tooru! You don't call a girl that! What's wrong with you? If a girl breaks up
with you, you don't get to-" Mei reached for the table-side lamp to be able to
look Oikawa in the eyes, but her words fell short when she caught sight of
Oikawa. "Fucking hell."
Mei was out of her seat in moments. The blood had dried across his face and
streaks of blood appeared from underneath his hair. His hair was matted to his
head and cakes of blood seemed to give him an unnerving new hairstyle. Even his
hands had bits of blood on them from rubbing at his wound. Her hands went to
touch his face, but he intercepted them.
"Don't," Oikawa said, voice dangerously low.
"Tooru, this isn't ok," Mei said, worriedly. "Whoever did this to you-"
"No one did anything to me," Oikawa barked. "I hit my head."
"You expect me to believe that you hit your own head and caused this much
blood? You must think I'm an idiot."
"I'm not lying."
"When Mom and Dad get back tomorrow-"
"Where did they go?" Oikawa interrupted. He never remembered them saying they
would be gone tonight.
"To Aunt Hisoka's?" Mei was even more worried. "Do you think you could have a
concussion? We should go to the hospital and get-"
"No," Oikawa said firmly. "I just want to go to bed."
Something must have been in the tone of his voice because Mei nodded at him,
but her face still had concerned. She watched him turn and take the steps two
at a time. When he was out of sight, Mei, feeling completely and absolutely
helpless, returned to her chair and stared at the pictures on the television,
unable to comprehend what she saw before her after seeing what someone did to
her baby brother.
___________
 
Oikawa took a shower and scrubbed all the blood from his body. Oikawa hadn't
noticed before, but a bunch had fallen onto his shirt and he tried to rinse it
out. He'd just have to hope it would come out in the wash.
Oikawa got into bed and placed in the tape of their game against Dateko and he
began to pick himself apart. At one point in the film, Oikawa had tossed the
ball to Satori when Ushijima was wide open on the other side. They had still
won the point, but it was such a stupid mistake. Oikawa was supposed to have
complete awareness of the game, but he couldn't even see that his ace was wide
open. Useless.
Later in the game, Oikawa had missed a receive for his team. It had been a
simple receive, but Oikawa had mistimed it that he made it look incredibly
awful. Everyone, at the time, had told him it was fine, but now, Oikawa could
see the look of disappointment on Ushijima's face. Incapable.
A few minutes passed. Oikawa tried to do a dump, but the Iron Wall of Dateko
easily destroyed his efforts. Oikawa had worked for weeks to improve his dump
shot, yet there he was failing at what he'd practiced on. Hopeless.
After all his hard work, it came down to nothing. Oikawa would always be one
step behind. He did everything. Everything. To improve and he didn't. He was
still a lousy setter who would screw up at nationals. But maybe, practicing
would help him. It had to. Ushijima always seemed to be improving until he was
third in the nation. That's absolutely incredible. Oikawa could easily do the
same if he put in twice as many hours. Maybe, Ushijima had forgot to the lock
the gym. Oikawa could get a few more reps in before he went to bed.
Before he knew it, Oikawa was out of bed and getting dressed. He slipped on his
shoes and grabbed his volleyball sneakers. He was so ecstatic that he nearly
fell down the stairs and he nearly sprinted out the door. Oikawa was going to
be the best setter and-.
"Tooru?" Mei said sleepily from her chair. The television continued to play as
she continued. "Where are you going? It's 11:00 at night."
11:00? Oikawa didn't remember it getting so late. He was just getting into bed
a minute ago. Weird. But, it didn't matter. Oikawa was wasting time while
someone else was getting better.
"I have to go practice volleyball," Oikawa said, already turning to go. "I'll
be back in an hour. Promise."
Mei was fully awake now. She hadn't been home in a while and she began to
wonder if Tooru usually did this type of thing. If he did, their parents had
never mentioned it to her.
"Tooru, it's really late," Mei negotiated. "How about I take you early to
school tomorrow, so you can practice then?"
"No," Oikawa retorted, grabbing the door handle. "I have to train now."
Mei was across the room in seconds and shutting the door just as Oikawa was
opening it.
"Stop being childish," Mei argued. "Just go to bed."
"No."
Oikawa tried to open the door again and Mei shoved him away from it.
"This isn't up for debate," Mei said.
Oikawa stumbled back a few steps and hesitated a second. Then, he made a break
for the back door. Mei hurried after him, but Oikawa was too quick. He had it
opened and had a hand on the doorframe. Lucky for Mei, she was only a step
behind and used her body weight to shove the door shut. In the split second
before it happened, Oikawa saw that his fingers were in the way of the door. He
tried to move them out of the way, but he was too slow. The door slammed onto
them and he let out a scream.
Mei quickly pulled him away from the door and sat him on the floor as Oikawa
took quick, startled breaths as his fingers began to bruise already.
Mei reached for his hands to better examine them, but, for the second time that
night, he ripped away from her. Oikawa slipped away and she watched him
disappear around the corner and toward the stairs.
Mei was about to follow, but ran to the freezer first to pull out an ice pack.
She swiftly navigated the house until she was outside Oikawa's door. She went
to knock, but the door swung open just slightly. She began to hear a voice from
the darkness of the room.
"No, no, no, I'm alright. I can keep playing. I'm okay. Nothing's wrong. I can
practice. It's fine. Don't touch me please. I'm alright. I can play. Nothing's
wrong. I'm okay."
Mei flicked on the lights. Oikawa was next to the bed, holding his knees to his
chest as he mumbled sentences over and over again. Sometimes, the sentences
would come out as broken words and other times Mei couldn't understand him at
all. Tears streamed down his face and Mei crouched down beside him. She noticed
her brother trembling heavily and moved to place a hand on his shoulder. When
it made contact with just a patch of skin on his neck, Oikawa erupted into
screams. Even when her hand was removed, the screaming did not stop. Mei
covered her ears and felt the first sob rack through her body. Her brother
didn't seem to hear her as she called his name and begged him to listen to
hear. She repeated over and over again that everything was fine and that he was
safe, but Oikawa was not with her. He was off somewhere else in her head and
she sobbed. Mei was helpless with her brother before her.
Mei backed out of the room and sprinted back down the stairs. She picked up the
phone and dialed. The operator picked up asking what her emergency was and she
began to sob even harder.
Chapter End Notes
     Let me know how you guys liked the story. Suggestions, comments,
     doesn't matter!
***** Examination *****
Chapter Summary
     Oikawa has an aggravating time with Dr. Takeda and Dr. Takeda the
     psychiatrist finds out that Oikawa has some problems.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Oikawa was perched on a ledge by the window. His knees were pulled into chest
and his arms were wrapped tightly around them. Below him, the city lights shown
up at him and cars noisily passed by him, not taking any notice of him. Oikawa
had returned to his normal clothes, save his shirt which still had blotches of
blood upon it. Instead, he wore a sweatshirt that the hospital had given him. A
dull pain scratched at Oikawa's mind from his right arm where the nurses had
put an IV in. But, more of his focus was to the more intense dull pain situated
in his fingers that were carefully wrapped. On his other side, a splint was
situated against his wrist after one of the doctors had noticed that there was
a sharp rift in his arm. Immediately, the doctor had ordered an x-ray and it
had been diagnosed as broken. Oikawa would be given a cast later once the
swelling could be reduced enough.
Oikawa heard a noise at the door and he thought it to be his parents and his
sister who had gone to get breakfast twenty minutes ago. Instead, a man in a
lab coat stood at the door holding a file in his hand. Oikawa's face brightened
at the sight of the doctor. They had already let Oikawa change. Perhaps, they
were finally releasing him, so he could get to school. He had to get to school
in order to participate in club activities which means Oikawa should be leaving
in half an hour at the latest.
The doctor bowed to him before placing his folder down and taking a seat in a
chair generally reserved for guests of the patient, "Hello, Oikawa. I'm Dr.
Takeda. I'm a psychiatrist at the hospital. Do you have any ideas why I'm
here?"
Oikawa's reply was curt and sharp, "No."
"That's quite alright," Takeda nodded. "I came to ask you about you experienced
last night. I already asked your sister, but I want to hear it from you."
"Nothing happened," Oikawa snapped and he uncurled from his position. His hands
seized onto the edge of his current seat and began to shoot pain up through his
arms, but Oikawa didn't even flinch at the pain. His attention pulled toward
this strange doctor. "I got my fingers slammed in a door and I went into shock.
That's it."
Dr. Takeda straightened at Oikawa's movements, but quickly relaxed his body
position. He settled his elbows on his knees with his head rested on his hands
and looked up to Oikawa.
"If you want to get out of here, I need you to answer my questions honestly and
calmly. Otherwise, you might never leave."
Oikawa seemed to tense even more at the words, but forced himself to relax. He
stole a soothing breath before taking up his staring straight into Dr. Takeda's
eyes again.
"Good," Dr. Takeda praised. "Now, when did you start playing baseball, was it?"
"Volleyball," Oikawa corrected angrily. "I've been playing volleyball since I
was little."
Tactically, Dr. Takeda had messed up on purpose to see Oikawa's reaction and
the response was startling. Intense anger for little reason, Takeda noted.
Probably due to his passion- no, obsession- with volleyball.
"And you enjoy it, don't you?"
"Volleyball is my life. I do more than just 'enjoying' it."
Dr. Takeda had a number of theories of what was mentally wrong with Oikawa.
Perhaps, volleyball was a way to cope with some type of depression that Oikawa
was secretly suffering through. Or, it could be a personality disorder that
Oikawa needed to sort through. Another theory is Oikawa has severe anxiety
about losing in volleyball or for a similar reason. That could be why he had a
mental breakdown. Though, Dr. Takeda was leaning mostly toward an obsessive
compulsive disorder.
"How many hours last week did you practice volleyball for?"
Oikawa's reply was not as rapid as previous ones had been. Instead, he
concentrated an extra moment before replying. "38 hours."
Dr. Takeda was not taken aback by the answer. He had even expected an insane
answer like this. Oikawa's parents had mentioned that Oikawa would often
disappear and not turn up until days later, often found somewhere playing
volleyball.
"And when did this workout schedule start?"
"A year and six months ago," Oikawa replied quickly and instinctively. "After
we lost during nationals because of me."
"Do you have a lot of friends, Oikawa?" Dr. Takeda questioned.
Oikawa hesitated, "Of course. Everyone in our school adores me."
"But, do you have any friends?"
"I have Ushijima, Satori, and Semi."
"Do you hang out with them outside of volleyball at all?"
"Outside of volleyball? There's no time. Every moment I waste not practicing,
someone else is getting better and I can't get left behind," By the end of his
sentence, Oikawa was shouting and on his feet. Oikawa noticed quickly and took
a seat on the bed again.
"No, I don't have any friends."
Intense obsession. Rapid anger. Unfeeling of pain. Poor socialization. Mental
breakdowns. Willingness to self-harm. Dr. Takeda now could assume that Oikawa
had obsessive compulsive disorder, but based only on one conversation. Besides,
another hidden cause may be fueling this disorder. His intense obsession had
started only a year and a half ago. Usually, something like this starts much
younger, but maybe with something different. Dr. Takeda had scrutinized
Oikawa's parents, but they insisted that Oikawa was never like this and that he
had changed only a little over a year ago.
Oikawa disappears for days, doesn't listen to authoritative figures based on
interactions with his sister and parents, is known to disobey, and has an
intense jump to anger. Outpatient may not be Oikawa's best option to reach a
full recovery. Inpatient seemed more like it would benefit Oikawa and his
condition in the shortest amount of time possible. A week of diagnostics might
be beneficial instead of jumping right into treatment. Hopefully, Dr. Takeda
was wrong in assuming that Oikawa was as severe as Dr. Takeda believed. Dr.
Takeda would recommend it to Oikawa's parents, but it was up to them in what
type of treatment Oikawa would receive. Though, previous conversations lead Dr.
Takeda to believe that his parents would do anything to get their son back to
full health.
"Thank you, Oikawa," Dr. Takeda rose from his seat and collected the file.
"You've been very helpful. Just stay right here. I'm going to have a talk with
your parents about what we talked about."
"Are you going to let me go home?" Oikawa questioned with a type of menacing
demeanor.
Dr. Takeda's brief hesitation was enough to send Oikawa into action. The
bedside table was grabbed and thrown across the room, causing the wooden object
to crash into pieces. Dr. Takeda distantly heard the shatter of glass as he
turned to grab a nurse from the hallway to sedate the rampaging boy. Dr. Takeda
returned his attention to Oikawa and tried to talk to Oikawa calmly, but Oikawa
was no longer with the real world. He had retreated to a different part of his
mind. Still, Dr. Takeda did his best to approach him, but to no avail.
A team of nurses leaped into action as they entered the room. Two of the nurses
took hold of Oikawa and pinned him down while another produced a needle. Oikawa
broke out into a loud round of tears and began to scream as he desperately
tried to free himself. Panic enveloped him as the nurses used their weight to
move Oikawa to the floor which caused him to scream even more. Once completely
pinned, the syringe broke skin on Oikawa's arm and offered him release from the
terrible place in his mind that he seemed to be trapped in.
Chapter End Notes
     I wrote this chapter three hours ago and accidentally deleted the
     tab, but it's okay because I did it again! I'll try to do one or two
     more updates over the weekend. Let me know about the story!
***** Packing for Hell *****
Chapter Summary
     Oikawa and Mei pack for the treatment center.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
"Oikawa, I promise, it's just for one week," Mei lugged a suitcase down from
the top of Oikawa's closet. "Then, you get to come back and we'll hang out a
lot more. We can go to the movies or to that space museum we used to go to a
few years ago."
"I don't see why I have to go," Oikawa rolled his eyes and tugged a volleyball
from under his bed. He tossed into the air as he laid back onto his bed, ready
for it to fall and to toss it right back into the air, but it was intercepted.
Mei's eyes glowed as she grabbed the volleyball in mid-air, but a momentary
flashback to last night and her eyes were softened. Oikawa shot up, ready to
fight her for the volleyball and to actually have time to practice just a
little before he was whipped away to some treatment center for a week.
"You know what they said," Mei said, worried. "They don't want you near a
volleyball until they have a proper diagnosis."
"Then, why'd they let me come home?"
"Because Mom requested it before you go. She knows that's what you wanted and
she tried to let you stay home, but you need to get better and the doctors say
that this is the best way."
Mei turned away from her brother and reached into his closet to produce several
shirts. She examined each carefully before either throwing it back into the
closet or into the suitcase for Oikawa's journey.
"What do they know?" Oikawa retaliated. "We talked for five minutes and, then
he proclaims that I'm crazy. I'm not crazy at all. I'm just passionate and that
doctor doesn't understand it at all."
"He spent eight years in college and you've spent zero there," Mei raised her
eyebrows. "Who do you think Mom is going to believe?"
"It's just so stupid," Oikawa threw himself flat against the bed until he
stared at his ceiling with its glow-in-the-dark stars and planets. "I'm not
going."
"You are," Mei grabbed a pair of pants from a drawer and unfolded them. "Do
these even fit you anymore?"
"I don't know and it doesn't matter because I'm not going."
"You are."
Mei threw the pants in its own pile and told herself that she would give them
away later. In the meantime, Mei returned to the terrible task of packing
again. Mei barely knew what to pack and she went off what Oikawa usually wore
when he was with her. Hopefully, he'd find something to wear. Oikawa could
always call and complain and Mei would bring him new clothes. She guessed the
best option at this point, but she continued anyway.
"There's nothing wrong with me," Oikawa said almost automatically as he opened
his bedside table to pull out a volleyball magazine that his team had been
featured in. Oikawa had even gotten a special interview for the magazine.
Mei ripped the magazine from Oikawa's hands and chucked it across the room.
"Like hell, there isn't something wrong with you. All you ever think about is
volleyball. You missed my high school graduation for it, Uncle Ty's funeral,
our cousin's wedding, and Mom's 50th birthday for volleyball. It's like you
don't even care about any of us. We're your family. We are supposed to be
first. Then, school. THEN, volleyball. But, none of it matters to you. You
don't even care that you miss everything that goes on around you. You won't
have volleyball forever."
Mei noticed Oikawa's fists shaking whether it was from anxiety or rage, Mei
couldn't tell, but she felt herself still. Mei desperately tried to settle her
own breathing and to calm herself. She couldn't let her brother explode again.
Not again. Not ever again. Please, not again.
"I know I won't have volleyball forever. That's why I'm trying to enjoy it now
which you don't seem to understand. I don't have a problem. There's nothing
wrong with me."
Oikawa towered over her when he rose from the bed and shouted at her. Mei felt
so small for the first time next to her brother. His height took on a menacing
appearance to her and Mei had to retreat. Yet, still she had felt worse. Much
worse.
Mei crouched down as her mind took her back to the events of last night. The
tears rose suddenly and there was no stopping them.
"You weren't really there last night. Seeing you like that. I don't think I've
ever been so scared. You were screaming and crying. You wouldn't move and you
wouldn't respond. It was like you were possessed by something else. I looked
into your eyes, Oikawa, and you weren't there. Do you know how scary that was?
Seeing your sibling, who you've known almost your entire life, and not seeing
them in front of you. Oikawa, you need help. You desperately need it and I
don't care if you hate me or Mom and Dad for sending you away, but you need to
be fixed. Something's wrong with you. I just want my little brother back. I
need him back. Please, give him back."
Oikawa bowed down until he was eye-level with her. He had no idea how to
comfort her, but he hugged her and held onto her.
"I'm right here. Don't worry. I'll get better, you'll see and we'll go to that
new American restaurant opening down the block. I bet you'll love it. You
always love American food."
Mei sniffled as she detached herself from Oikawa's grip and properly hugged him
and whispered, "Okay."
Chapter End Notes
     Thanks everyone for reading and bookmarking this.
     Also, should I have Akaashi or Kuroo as Oikawa's tour guide for the
     treatment center? I just can't decide.
***** A New Place and A New Face *****
Chapter Summary
     Oikawa arrives at his bland hellhole for the week.
"Welcome to Miyagi Mental Health Hospital for Teens," a man said as Oikawa and
his family exited their van. "I'm Dr. Ukai Keishin, but most of the patients
refer to me as Ukai. I'm one of the therapists here and I'm head of the floor
that your son will be staying on."
 
"For a week," Oikawa muttered and folded his arms across his chest. Already,
this whole thing seemed childish and unnecessary. Volleyball was just a
passion; why couldn't anyone understand that?
 
"I'm sorry," Ukai said as he leaned closer to understand Oikawa and Oikawa
could easily smell the pungent leftover smoke that had soaked into Ukai's
clothes. "You'll have to speak up."
 
Oikawa retreated a step and with fake enthusiasm, said, "I'm excited to be
here."
 
Ukai looked skeptical as he nodded and checked his shoulder and then his watch.
His eyes swept the entrance of the hospital again. Ukai frowned as he turned
back to Oikawa and his family.
 
"Your roommate and tour guide is supposed to be here," Ukai explained. "He can
show you around while I talk about the boring stuff with your parents and I
hope he can settle you in more to your temporary home."
 
Oikawa raised his eyebrows at the statement, but smiled broadly to please the
doctor. This would be the man who would be helping Oikawa get out of her as
soon as possible. If Oikawa could convince the doctor to release him, Oikawa
could go home and play volleyball again. He was already wasting precious time
being here. There was no need to extend the time period.
 
“Well, I guess I’ll just start by going over a typical day here,” Ukai
scratched his head and unfolded a piece of paper. “Morning checks are at 7.
Then, breakfast at 7:30. Community group is at 8:30. Then, you’ll meet with Dr.
Kiyoko, your psychiatrist afterward. You have some free time after before lunch
which is at 12:30. Vitals are taken at one. Recreational therapy at two with
education group following that. Visitation hour at 4. Dinner at 5. More free
time. Closure group at 8 and med time at 9. Then, lights out are at 11. Your
roommate will make sure to help you with the schedule. Also, I believe you may
check yourself out for short periods of time since you are old enough, but, if
you don’t come back, that privilege is taken away. We have sports activities
going on throughout the day, but I don’t think Dr. Kiyoko will want you
participating. But, we have field trips once a week which you are welcome to
come on with permission from parents and doctors. That about sums it up-”
 
All of a sudden, a tall, black-haired man started sprinting toward them and he
came to an abrupt halt.
 
Panting from the run, the man spoke, “Hey, sorry, Ukai. Totally forget, but
before you get mad, I’m here now. Only a few minutes late.”
Ukai’s glare persisted due to the man’s tardiness, so the man smiled sheepishly
as he began pulling Oikawa away.
 
“We’re gonna get started, so we’ll meet you guys later. Bye Ukai and,” the man
checked the writing on his hand. “Oklahoma family.”
 
Rushing a bit faster now, he pulled Oikawa inside the building. It certainly
looked like the brochure from the outside, but the inside was much more dull
and boring. It looked typical with the white walls and ceilings. A waiting area
and a receptionist desk were placed plainly in the walk-in area. The man
immediately bounded up to it.
 
“Yo, Yukie, do I have any visitors coming today?” the man asked the
receptionist.
 
“Hold on, let me check, Kuroo,” Yukie smiled and typed a bit before shaking her
head. “Doesn’t look like Kenma’s coming today. I heard he’s back in school,
though, so he might be busy because of homework. I’m sure tomorrow he’ll come.”
 
Kuroo’s face fell before realizing Oikawa was still with him. He instantly
brightened up.
 
“Oh,I don’t think I ever introduced myself,” Kuroo put a hand through his hair
in sweeping motion to keep it out of his face. “I’m Kuroo Tetsurou. I
have...wait, what’s the new diagnosis, Yukie?”
 
“Dependent personality disorder and alcohol abuse.”
 
“Yeah, that,” Kuroo nodded, recognizing it. “I have problems dealing with
things on my own, so I depend on others for emotional and physical needs.
Basicly, I don’t like being left alone. What’s up with you?”
 
Kuroo noticed a hint of hesitation in Oikawa’s response, so he added, “You
don’t have to tell me. It’s up to you. The whole patient confidentiality
thing.”
 
“I don’t have any problems, actually,” Oikawa said. “I’m here by mistake.”
 
Kuroo immediately laughed at Oikawa, “Oh, denial will keep you here for more
than just your temporary stay.”
 
Oikawa’s fists curled as he got closer to Kuroo and pulled him down by his
shirt collar, “Listen. I don’t have a problem. Everyone’s just blowing
everything out of proportion. I freaked out over my fingers getting hurt, so
what?”
 
“It’s cool,” Kuroo unhooked Oikawa’s hand from his shirt. “But, anger and
outbursts are going to land you here for months, so I’d tone it down a notch.
I’ll warn you that any slip-ups could extend your stay here at the Asylum.”
 
Oikawa backed off. This Kuroo was right. He needed to calm down, but why is he
losing control so easily? Oikawa wasn’t like this. He was supposed to be calm
and collected who calculated his opponents and their every move. Now, he was
brash and stupid. He dug the heels of his hands into eyes, trying to keep
himself in his own body. Why was there no control anymore? Maybe, Oikawa did
have a problem.
 
No, there was no time to have problems. Oikawa was falling behind. He needed to
get better. Or something was going to happen.
 
Wait, what?
 
What was going to happen? His brain tugged at him as if he was trying to recall
something, but the memory slipped from him like he was trying to hold water.
Oikawa didn’t understand. Why did his mind think something bad was going to
happen?
 
Oikawa blocked it out, desperate to keep in the here and now.
 
“Hey, Oklahoma?” Kuroo asked. “You okay? They’re gonna fix whatever’s wrong, so
you don’t have to worry about it. Okay?”
 
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Oikawa hurriedly replied. “I just forgot something at home.”
 
“Your parents can stop by during visiting hours or something,” Kuroo supplied.
“Do you want to get on with the tour?”
 
Oikawa took a deep breath and nodded.
 
---------------------------------
 
“That’s the basketball court is,” Kuroo pointed as they walked through the back
gardens. “See the red-headed kid. Don’t let him catch you messing with him. He
has quite the temper, but the blue-haired kid. He’s pretty chill. I’ll
introduce you sometime if you want.”
 
“Yeah, sure,” Oikawa nodded, but his head had been hurting since they had
started walking. His brain was trying to remember something, but Oikawa
couldn’t quite grasp what it was.
 
“Over there, that’s the pool,” Kuroo gestured to a whole in the ground that was
encased in weeds and muck that could only pass as a pool because of a sign
declaring it so. “Some guys just got permission to fix it up. They say
swimming’s therapeutic. I say swimming’s deadly.”
 
A loud beeping started up and Kuroo stopped walking and took hold of Oikawa’s
arm. It stopped after three times and a women spoke.
 
“This is a code white,” she announced. “Everyone please return to your assigned
rooms.”
 
Kuroo released Oikawa’s arm with a sigh of relief. “Someone’s just missing.
It’s okay.”
 
Oikawa wondered why Kuroo had seemed so scared and like he had been ready to
take Oikawa and sprint. Oikawa shivered. He had a bad feeling about it, but
elected to ignore it.
 
Kuroo guided Oikawa to the stairwell where a bunch of other patients were also
ascending. Taking the stairs to at a time, the boys arrived at the third floor
and walked a few paces to a room.
 
Kuroo opened it without a key, seeing the locks looked broken on the doors.
 
“Our room shares a bathroom with the neighbors, so we can pass through it into
their room while still being technically in our room. I’ll introduce you.”
 
Kuroo opened the bathroom door and kept walking to the door opposite and he
knocked a few before revealing their other ‘roommates.’
***********
Sorry for the super late chapter, but I'm back in action with a shitty filler
chapter that only serves to introduce it. I wanted to do more with it, but it
didn't happen. Anyway, hope you caught my innuendos to some other animes;)
I'll try to get another chapter out soon.
Who should be the other roommates?
-m
***** Introduction of the Insane Roommates *****
Chapter Summary
     Oikawa finds himself meeting a bipolar Bokuto and a hyper aggressive
     Akaashi.
"Hey, Bokuto," Kuroo greeted the man laying on the bed. The man looked straight
up to the ceiling, studying it intently. "Is it a good day or a bad day?"
The man did not respond, but his expression twitched for a second and molded
itself into a heavy frown before returning to a neutral position.
Kuroo nodded at the lack of response and turned to Oikawa to explain.
"This is Bokuto Koutarou. He has bipolar disorder which results in heavy mood
swings and what we like to call 'emo mode.' We'll try to talk to him when he's
feeling better, but we'll probably have to wait until Akaashi gets back."
In accordance with this statement, the door handle turned and the door swung
open as a black-haired man walked in followed by a heavyset nurse who had the
patient's arm firmly grasped. The patient looked pissed as he was released and
took a seat on his bed.
The nurse pulled out a walkie-talkie and radioed to someone, "Yeah, it's
Nekomata. I found Akaashi. He was out the door, but we're back in his room now.
What would you like to do with him?"
Nekomata listened to the jargon that replied to him and he nodded as if the
person on the other end could hear him. Following whatever had been said,
Nekomata pulled out a metal ankle bracelet and knelled at Akaashi's feet.
Akaashi looked even more pissed off at seeing the strange object. He flinched
away as Nekomata tried to grab his ankle.
"You're not putting a tracking bracelet on me," Akaashi scowled. "This was only
the second time. I won't do it again, I promise."
"Akaashi, you and I both know that this is the second time that you've gotten
caught. You've done this before."
Akaashi didn't argue, but huffed in annoyance and crossed his arms. Despite
this, he held out his ankle for the tracking bracelet and Nekomata snapped it
on. Within seconds, the bracelet blinked to life with a bright red light.
"Just for a few weeks, Akaashi," Nekomata patted him on the shoulder. "And,
you're going to have to talk to Ukai about leaving the buildings unaccompanied
even if you do sign out."
Akaashi looked like he was about to argue, but Nekomata held up a hand and told
him, "I know. We'll get this sorted out, so you can have some privileges back,
but, for now, you're back on the Red List."
A voice rang over the loudspeakers announcing that the alert was over.
As soon as Nekomata was out the door, Akaashi whipped around to face all of
them. His eyes brushed over Kuroo and Oikawa before landing on Bokuto.
"You fucking asshole," Akaashi yelled at him and picked up a book nearby before
chucking it near Bokuto's head who whimpered and curled in on himself. "You
always mess things up! Why the fuck do you have to mess things up all the
time?"
"You said you were going to leave again," Bokuto whispered back.
"And you told Nekomata again?!" Akaashi yelled louder this time.
Oikawa had no idea what to do. Like zero. So, he tried to start to back out of
the room, but he knocked into a nightstand. Out of the corner of his eye,
Oikawa saw a porcelain owl about to fall to the ground, so, naturally, he dove
to catch the owl in a tumbling move. When he stood up, he noticed that the
yelling had stopped and everyone had their attention on him. Oikawa raised the
owl in victory at them right into the light fixture on the ceiling, causing the
delicate owl to shatter into thousands of pieces.
Oikawa's eyes widened and he covered his mouth with a hand as he stared at the
mess that he had created. No doubt, Oikawa was in huge trouble. He had been
here five minutes and his first impression was shattering one of his roommate's
possessions. He was looking like such an asshole right now.
Yet, to his astonishment, Akaashi began to laugh hysterically at Oikawa, even
going as far to hunch forward and clutching his stomach. Kuroo immediately
joined in and fell onto Akaashi's bed with tears in his eyes. Bokuto perked up
and stared back and forth between Akaashi and Oikawa as if he was in awe of
Akaashi's reaction.
The laughter died down enough for Akaashi to ask Oikawa his name before he
disappeared to find Nekomata to clean up the mess. Though, Kuroo insisted that
he did not need help as he picked up each piece individually, effectively
cutting his hand several times. Bokuto watched on in a cross-legged position,
telling him that he had missed a piece, despite, there being hundreds of pieces
still on the ground.
Oikawa would have helped, but Kuroo kept telling Oikawa that he could handle
it. Instead, Kuroo went to take a seat on the desk chair. As he pulled it out,
Oikawa noticed a volleyball magazine already resting on the chair.
Volleyball. His one true passion. Yet, he hadn't thought about it for over half
an hour. Must have been some kind of record for him. Oikawa stole a look back
at the goons in the room and thought that maybe things might turn out okay.
***** Trip to the Psycho's Therapist *****
Chapter Summary
     Oikawa meets Dr. Kiyoko, the psychologist for the first time and
     things do not go well.
After saying goodbye to his parents and having a long conversation with his
sister, Ukai told Oikawa that he had to meet with the psychologist to have a
pre-evaluation to starting treatment and, at the end of the week, another
evaluation would take place to figure out how to proceed with treatment. Ukai
also mentioned that everything would not be over by the end of the week. That
Oikawa would still have to waste time coming to a place for psychos. To be
“treated” for a condition that was made up by the doctors to consume his
parents’ money.
 
Oikawa had come to this conclusion as he followed behind Kuroo who was trying
to make light conversation, but Oikawa had entered defensive mode. Oikawa
didn’t want to talk about anything. He didn’t want to be here. And he, sure as
hell, didn’t want to be talking to a lady who thought he was crazy.
 
Because Oikawa wasn’t crazy. He wasn’t a freak like the other kids here who had
“emo modes” or freaked out if you didn’t constantly reassure them that you
didn’t think they were a “waste of space” which Oikawa had to say twice in the
past five minutes of talking to Kuroo. This intimidating kid had problems with
self-worth. Funny. Probably, bullied kids and said that they were worthless and
landed here because he broke down in the principal’s office, confessing his
inner feelings. Pathetic.
 
No, Oikawa was the only normal one here. The doctors just wanted to be a big
nuisance in Oikawa’s goal of making the national team before the age of twenty
and Oikawa was nowhere close at the age of 18. He only had less than two years
left. Exactly 1 year 9 months 13 days 2 hours and about thirty minutes to make
the team. He hadn’t seen a clock for a while, so Oikawa couldn’t say the
minutes or seconds. They had taken his watch.
 
Oikawa was extremely annoyed at the fact. The nurses had gone through his stuff
and put everything they deemed “unnecessary” in a little bin with his name on
it. They had taken everything except for clothing and toiletries. He had no
personal mementos because all of them were seen as “hazardous to his
condition.” Even, the picture after Shiratorizawa won the Miyagi prefecture.
Oikawa couldn’t tell you what happened after they won, but that moment of
winning was amazing. Nothing could compare to that feeling.
 
Of course, losing in Oikawa’s first year brings back bad memories. He had let
the team down. He had mistimed a toss to Ushijima during the other team’s match
point. Ushijima wouldn’t talk to him for weeks because of how angry he was.
Oikawa didn’t like that feeling. Oikawa wanted everyone to look up to him and
hold him on a pedestal for his talents. Not give him disappointed looks and
angry glares.
 
That’s probably when Oikawa started putting in so much hard work all the time.
Oikawa never wanted to feel like that ever again, so he started improving
heavily to make sure he never would fail. But, there was the game at nationals
last year. And the two tournaments before that. And the training camp failures
a few months ago-.
 
“So, this is the room,” Kuroo gestured to a door on the right. “Just knock and
Dr. Kiyoko will let you in. I’ll see you at group. I mean, if you want to,
we’ll be sitting in the back. They’re usually boring, but we usually just talk
in the back. No one really cares. So, I’ll just- see you then. Bye.”
 
By the end of Kuroo’s testament, he was a beat red and turned on his heel to
hurry away. Oikawa didn’t really know if he wanted to sit with Kuroo and his
friends. They were all probably insane and if you talk to crazy people long
enough, you’re bound to end up crazy yourself.
 
Oikawa faced the door and hesitated. He just had to convince this Dr. Kiyoko
that he did not have a problem. That it was all a mistake and they should
release him as soon as possible.
 
Oikawa tapped on the door softly and glanced down the vacant hallway. Who knew
maybe this hospital still believed in electroshock therapy to cure patients?
That could be the reason the hallway is so empty. No one to hear your screams.
That would really dampen Oikawa’s plans to quickly return to volleyball. Maybe,
Oikawa should just leave and no one would notice. That’d be good. Yes-.
 
The door opened to reveal a younger-looking woman with glasses resting on her
face. She had a warm glow to her as she slightly smiled at Oikawa.
 
“Come in,” she said in a relaxing tone. “Take a seat on the couch there.”
 
Oikawa obliged and Dr. Kiyoko took a seat in a leather chair across from the
couch. There was an obvious lack of electrocution equipment.
 
“Hello, I’m Dr. Kiyoko,” the woman said. “We’re just going to have a
conversation and we’ll decide how to help you.”
 
“I don’t need help.” Oikawa resisted rolling his eyes.
 
“Okay,” Dr. Kiyoko nodded her head along as if she were mocking Oikawa. He
clenched his fists at her word. Kiyoko must have noticed because her tactics
immediately changed. “That’s exactly what I’m trying to figure out. So, you say
you don’t? Why is that?”
 
“Because everyone is making things out to be bigger than they are,” Oikawa spit
out. “I just want to play volleyball and everyone’s saying that’s a bad thing.
And I don’t understand why.”
 
“I don’t think they are saying playing volleyball’s a bad thing,” Kiyoko
countered gently. “They just think you play too much.”
 
“How is too much bad, though?” Oikawa shot back.
 
“Oikawa, you’re a well-rounded person,” Kiyoko said. “You just seem to be
thinking of yourself as a volleyball player first and a person second.”
 
“No, I don’t,” Oikawa felt his toes curl. This lady wasn’t understanding,
either.
 
“Oikawa, can you just answer a few questions?”
 
“Whatever,” Oikawa huffed and folded his arms as he retreated back into the
couch.
 
“You were a consistently good student who received high marks in all subjects
all the way up until a few months after volleyball season. Do you know why?”
 
“I realized that school was a waste of time when I’m just going to volleyball
when I’m older. So, what’s the point?” Oikawa stared fiercely into Kiyoko’s
eyes, daring her to disagree.
 
“Okay, but you want to play in college right?”
 
Oikawa gave a curt nod.
 
“And you’ve had several offers?”
 
Another nod.
 
“But, you can’t commit because of your low grades.”
 
“I know, okay?!” Oikawa yelled at this stranger who seemed to be prying at
sensitive areas of him. “I stopped caring! I just need to make a professional
team or the national team and I won’t have to worry about that! So, you keeping
me here?! It’s wasting my time and my potential future! I could be at home!
Getting better! But, you’re keeping me here! Every second I sit here listening
to you that I have a problem allows someone else to be getting better! And
then, I’ll fail because of you and your stupid psychological analysis bullshit
that’s just wasting money and time and my dreams.”
 
“Oikawa, sit down.”
 
Oikawa hadn’t realized he had gotten to his feet, but he scrambled back to his
seat and stared at his hands. He began to rub his hands together to keep him
focused on the simple moment and reality.
 
He did it again. He lost control. It’s over. She won’t let him leave. He’ll be
trapped here forever. He’ll never play volleyball again. He won’t be able to
toss to his friends or play in a real game anymore. It’s over and Oikawa had
lost.
 
Oikawa’s breaths were becoming heavy. He curled his knees to his chest and
rubbed his hands furiously together to keep his mind off the thoughts. He could
feel himself shaking and he couldn’t stop. Why was he shaking? After feeling so
angry, why was Oikawa scared?
 
Then, he felt a hand on his knee and Oikawa’s mind flashed to a memory. He
couldn’t quite grasp what was going on during the memory, but the amount of
pain Oikawa was feeling during it caused Oikawa to release a startled yell at
the contact. The hand immediately retreated and the pain did, too.
 
“Oikawa, I want to know more about your sister,” Kiyoko said. “What’s she
like?”
 
Oikawa was taken aback by the question, but he didn’t cease his movements, just
looked at Kiyoko now. When he didn’t respond and took his eyes away from her,
Kiyoko repeated the question.
 
“She’s nice,” Oikawa whispered.
 
“Why is she nice?” Kiyoko asked.
 
“I don’t know.”
 
“Can you give me an example of her being nice?” Kiyoko kneeled in front of
Oikawa, so she was now in Oikawa’s line of vision.
 
“She bakes cookies every time she comes home. And she always buys me really
weird socks for my birthday. She always texts me before I go to bed. She calls
me every weekend and she listens to everything I have to say. And she doesn’t
yell. She talks really quietly, so you have to listen really carefully to her
words. And-”
 
Oikawa stopped himself when he realized he wasn’t shaking anymore. He was back
in control again and he stared at Kiyoko in amazement and whispered, ‘Thank
you.’
 
Kiyoko nodded. “I want to meet with you again tomorrow and we’ll talk more
about your sister, okay?”
 
It was Oikawa’s turn to nod as he got up and walked to the door.
 
“And, Oikawa?” Oikawa stopped with his hand on the handle. “If you ever feel
bad, just think about times with your sister, alright?”
 
Oikawa nodded and left the room behind.
 
Something was wrong with him. Something was terribly, terribly wrong.
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